Vampire, Buck Tooth

It began as an idea. A Halloween costume idea.

A vampire social outcast. One with buck teeth instead of fangs. Makes it a little difficult to bite people on the neck. A completely ridiculous idea, which is probably why Jon and I thought it was perfect. It also perfectly went over everyone’s head at the Halloween party Jon debuted the costume at. Oh well, we were sold.

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So Bad It’s… Episode 6-The Hulk TV Series

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Before Mark Ruffalo, Edward Norton, Eric Bana and a mixed bag of CGI, Bill Bixby and Lou Ferrigno – Lou and the Bix – WERE the Hulk. If you grew up in the 70s and 80s, you may still have fond memories of this early Marvel live action foray, with it’s classic opening warning, “Mr. McGee, don’t make me angry. You wouldn’t like me when I’m angry.”

On this incredible episode of the So Bad It’s… podcast, we are joined by Bernie Gonzalez, host of the Fan2Fan Podcast, to discuss the television version of the Incredible Hulk. Specifically, we delve into a pair of episodes that encapsulate all that was good – and hysterically bad – about this hit (it lasted 5 seasons) series.

‘The Final Round’ captures the budding romance between David Banner (Benson) and Rocky (played by favorite So Bad It’s… thespian, Mr. Martin Kove), as a loveable lug boxer who comes to Banner’s aid while jogging through the dangerous streets of Wilmington, Delaware. Emotions and passions run high as Rocky gets David a job at his local gym where heroin and haymakers are in equal supply.

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Where ya headed? Greenpoint?

In ‘Times Square Terror’ Banner makes the totally logical move to Manhattan to work in an arcade slinging quarters as one does when trying to cure oneself of a horrible anger-induced metamorphosis into a giant green monster. Before change machines could render his job obsolete, Banner eavesdrops on some mob-related shenanigans orchestrated by a mob boss named…Jason. This leads to a traffic-caused hulkout in a taxi and Lou Ferrigno running through Times Square/a back lot with cute green booties on. Classic Ferrigs!


Don’t forget to follow us on Twitter, where we rarely hulk out, but when we do, we do it in the gentlest possible way.

So Bad It’s… Episode 5 – Army Men

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P-choo! P-choo!

Such were the sound effects emanating from basements everywhere, courtesy of the mouths of many an 80’s kid as we enjoyed endless hours playing with those little green men of our youth, army men.

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“Hey, you wanna Netflix and chill tonight?”

Army men may not be de rigeur these days, and that’s certainly understandable, but for generations of kids – mostly boys – our collection of army men allowed some really creative world-building. Anyone who ever owned a bag or box of these 3-inch figures will instantly remember the handful of universal figures and their poses: The rifleman, the mortar guy, the bazooka guy, the flame thrower, the minesweeper, the ‘captain’ with a pistol and binoculars, the radioman, the soldier crawling on his stomach and the soldier hoisting a bayonet over his head. Sure there were a few others, but these were the A-listers. The A-Team, if you will.

On this episode of our So Bad It’s… podcast, we talk the little green men, reminisce about introducing ‘guest stars’ such as dinosaurs and Star Wars figures and break out our favorite sound effects from when we were kids. It’s in no way embarrassing.


Don’t forget to follow us on Twitter, where we often break out our favorite army man poses.

 

So Bad It’s…Episode 4 – The Ice Cream Man

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There used to be a time when you had to get creative to get your hands on some ice cream. None of this tweet at the Good Humor truck and it comes to your neighborhood nonsense.

In this episode of the Sobadcast, we get into that summertime groove as we discuss the excitement, anticipation, panic and fear of trying to race down the ice cream truck as it jingle-jangled its way through our suburban youth. From climbing trees to triangulate where the truck’s music was coming from, to booking it barefoot down hot asphalt streets, fresh from the pool with a dollar in hand, nothing else mattered but the satisfaction of seeing the ice cream man (or woman) slow down and extend the stop sign off the side of the truck.

We meet some interesting characters along the way. Vinnie the Pied Piper who was Bruce Lee-level masterful with the speed of his change belt and remembering every Little Leaguer’s favorite ice cream, to the totally not creepy Mister Softee driver that roamed our neighborhoods and became a staple of our summer youth.

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Some people will do anything to get Mr. Softee to stop.

For our fourth sprinkle-laden episode, we try to recall that single-minded focus to not only catch the ice cream truck, but begging our parents for a simple dollar with which to buy our soft-serve, jimmy cones, toasted almond bars, bomb pops, Marino’s Italian Ices, and yes even black market cherry bombs. But never that Chinese fortune gum. Screw that.


What was your favorite ice cream selection? Who was your favorite ice cream man (or woman)? Let us know on Twitter, where we hand out bomb pops every Tuesday at 6.

So Bad It’s… Episode 3 – Arcades

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Nothing caused sensory overload quite like an early 80s arcade. The sights, sounds, smells, beeps, bloops and knife fights (real or imagined) kept our 12-year-old selves humming along better than six bowls of Cap’n Crunch ever could.

Growing up in suburban Long Island, arcades and video games occupied a very real part of our lives. From standalone arcades like TimeOut! in the nearby Smith Haven Mall, to walls of flashing lights at local roller skating rink, Studio 25, or just a single standalone game at summer hotels and pizza parlors, we grew up amongst a weird world of strange games and stranger gamers.

Arcades may have come and gone, but judging by establishments like Williamsburg’s Barcade, they won’t soon be forgotten. Sorry hipsters, we were into it before it was cool.

80s-arcadeOn this, our third episode, we plunk our hard-earned quarters into the podcast to discuss arcades, the Star Wars cantina of adolescent adventure.

Special thanks to Andy Hofle for providing the arcade sounds we used at the end of this episode.


Don’t forget to follow us on Twitter, where we’ll even let you have next game.

So Bad It’s… Episode 2 – Slacksjacking

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Have you ever had the desire to take your slacks and hike them up so high, you nearly started a small fire? Well you, my friend are a slacksjacker.

Slacksjacking has been around since the ancient Romans, but you’d be hard-pressed to find any information about it online. Once the lifestyle choice and fashion statement for such entertainment heavyweights such as Ed Wood, Michael Landon, the Bay City Rollers, TV’s Webster and Norman Fell, slacksjacking is now derided and snickered at while searching 1970s male slacks catalogues online.

The Bay City Rollers rode the slacksjacking wave of the 70s.

The Bay City Rollers rode the slacksjacking wave of the 70s.

For our special 6th annual second episode, we dive deep into the history of slacksjacking, shining a light on incredible-but-true Hollywood stories that show the ugly side of this fashion phenomenon.


Don’t forget to follow us on Twitter, where we always keep our pants up to our armpits.

So Bad It’s… Episode 1 – Gamera Super Monster

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Gamera: Super Monster should be so bad it’s mind-blowing. The pieces are there: rubber-suited monsters, bad dubbing, blatant Star Wars and Superman ripoffs, an endless supply of plot holes, ‘special’ effects, space women and a kid running around in brown shorts playing the Gamera theme on an organ whenever convenient.

Does it deliver? That’s what we discuss in the first episode of our new podcast, So Bad It’s… (@sobadcast on Twitter), which you can listen to above. Gamera: Super Monster is a bit of a greatest hits mash-up in that the big green, fire-spewing turtle battles all the enemies of his previous films in a series of shoe-horned stock footage clips. They’re sent forth by Zanon, a faceless villain who basically hangs out in space for the entirety of the movie in his Mazda™ Star Destroyer.

Everybody! It's fun to stay at the...

Everybody! It’s fun to stay at the…

This movie was apparently an attempt by studio Daiei to forestall bankruptcy (surprise! it didn’t work), hence the massive use of stock footage. According to Wikipedia, only about two minutes of new Gamera footage appears in this thing.

What do you think of Gamera: Super Monster, or Gamera movies in general? Let us know in the comments, and be sure to follow us on Twitter.


If you want to know more about Gamera and other kaiju films, don’t ask us! You can, however, follow Kyle Yount’s very excellent Kaijucast, where Kyle and his friends tackle a different Gamera and Godzilla-style movie and offer the latest news each month. It’s worth checking out even if you’re a casual fan like us.

Making the Grade Episode 1 – Steele Justice

makingthegrade003As a children of the 1980s, my buddy Jon and I have far too much useless pop culture in our head. In an attempt to let some of it out, we’ve started a podcast called Making the Grade where we’ll discuss all the things that shaped who we are today. We’ll tackle topics like horror movies, video games, discovering music, discovering girls, mix tapes, and movies so bad they’re good.

That leads us to our very first episode, the 1987 cheese-tacular Steele Justice, starring Sensei Kreese (Martin Kove) and a boatload of B-C- and D-movie actors that are probably still too good for this movie. The producers threw in pretty much every 80s action movie stereotype – terrible one-liners, supercheese Frank Stallone-esque anthem, emotionally stunted lead character who cares for a pet snake, a spandex-clad music video, cocaine, uzis, beach workout montage with pink sweater and a mop handle, uncomfortable sexual tension between Steele and his best friend’s teenage daughter – it’s a veritable stew of batshit crazy and it fails spectacularly.

Jon and I could talk about this movie for weeks, if not months straight. Each scene is a perfectly realized helping of insanity, served with a sweaty (literally) side of Martin Kove. The original 35mm print of this needs to be preserved in the Smithsonian. But what did Jon and I really think? Does Steele Justice make the grade? Listen and find out!

GFWC Clubwoman Magazine

gfwc-magOne of the primary responsibilities in my current position is the production of our organization’s bi-monthly magazine. We have a small, but dedicated staff that contribute content for each issue, while I am in charge of budgeting space, managing advertising and ultimately layout and design. I also handle editing and occasional writing duties. Ah, such is life at a small non-profit organization!

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The positive side of it is, the staff gets a good idea of what it takes to put together a publication such as this, and each department works closely to produce what usually amounts to a 28 to 36-page magazine. Of course, producing a magazine, even a bi-monthly magazine, takes a lot of time and effort. As the sole designer of all things GFWC, I don’t get the luxury of spending a lot of time crafting layouts and ideas. It tends to be pretty down and dirty as I have many other responsibilities in my role as communications director. I do, of course, enjoy the creative aspect of it, and given our tight time frames, I do my best to help produce the best publication we can. I also do have one person on my staff that I get to teach (inflict?) some basic design ideas on that helps alleviate some of my design workload.