The other day I wrote about my dream involving the Hotel Morrissey, which naturally housed a Cafe Morrissey in its lobby. How this respite for weary travelers existed only in my dream no one can really know, but that was no excuse to not formulate marketing and product strategies!

A Facebook post followed, and thanks to some truly ace ideas from a couple of friends, it cemented in my mind that this was perhaps the single greatest idea I had ever had!

What follows are the fruits of our labors. Special thanks to Brian, Mario, Marc, Steve, Marya and Lauren for fueling the fire. Please feel free to add your own ideas so that some day the Hotel Morrissey will become the reality it was meant to be. Morrissey is such the lyricist that this could go on forever (in which case I’m doomed).

Hotel Morrissey
‘At the Hotel Morrissey, There Is A Light That Never Goes Out’

The Customer Rewards Program: You Just Haven’t Earned It Yet, Baby
Room Service Slogan: Please, Please, Please, Let Me Get What I Want
Gift Shop signage: Shoplifters of the World Will Be Prosecuted
Concierge Desk signage: Ask Me, Ask Me, Ask Me…
Elevator signage: In the event of an emergency, ‘Panic’
Amenities service: ‘Excuse me front desk? How soon can I get an iron brought up to Room 223?’ ‘How soon is now, sir?’
Amenities service: Stretch Out and Wait at the Hotel Morrissey spa and salon
Amenities service: Join the lazy sunbathers are our newly renovated, state-of-the-art outdoor pool
Sample the Meat Is Murder vegan menu at Dagenham Dave’s Restaurant, conveniently located in the lobby
and don’t forget the ‘I’ve Come To Wish You an Unhappy Birthday’ ballroom and lounge
Need room service? Just dial a cliche, stretch out and wait, and find out for yourself why we are the last of the famous international hotels.

Cafe Morrissey

Beverage Items: Last of the Famous International Cappucinos, Hot Chocolate with whipped cream pompadour, pashernate latte, Alsatian cappucino
Slogan: At the Cafe Morrissey, All You Need is Tea
Slogan: The More You Ignore Tea, The Closer It Gets
Slogan: Now My Mug Is Full
Employee of the Month: Ringleader of the Baristas